Tom Brady in a wet tee shirt….

Tom Brady in a wet tee shirt….

Naked….

In uniform….

(I think I am obsessed)

A giant Fathead® replica of Tom Brady on the football field, about to throw a pass….

Thanks to my friends, Jason and Jerry, aka The Pervert Brothers  I can act out all my fantasies.

You can too, whenever you want.

Just follow the simple steps below:

Buy The 6’4″ Tom Brady Fathead®.

Glue and/or nail it to your wall.

(mine is in my workout room for privacy and inspiration.)

Screw VERY secure vertical handles next to his shoulders.

Screw pegs suitable for footrests at the level of his knees.

Glue a dildo harness ring over his crotch.

Accessories:

I chose a selection of dildos, a very stable stepladder,

And the obvious things like lubricants, condoms, etc.

(I needed help with the installation, and The Pervert Brothers were happy to oblige.

All they want in return is to watch me use it on occasion.)

Now I suck Tom Brady.

I hang on to those handles and I fuck Tom Brady.

I put a condom on him, bend over the stepladder and work him up my ass.

Any time….

Especially halftime….

And now here cums the Superbowl….

GO PATRIOTS!!!!

YingYing

And Alex , Aldon  and Justin of the 49ers

But the games have got me so wound up that my fingers are tongue-tied!
So I am going to stay more or less calm for the next few hours by looking at a beautiful woman..

She is married to an NFL quarterback so we can all masturbate to her pictures and still stay on topic!

She has much bigger tits than YingYing and a very nice ass….

The Pervert Brothers say they prefer YingYing’s  tits but I figure it is a matter of taste and we all know that perfection takes many forms….

Here is YingYing  displaying her flip side….

This weekend the competition is all on the football field
Not on my blog

The Pervert brothers are already enthusiastically enjoying this post!
You should too…
Somehow, we all gotta make it to Gametime…
(to be continued)

1 866 282 6142

I keep asking my boyfriend if he’d be interested in some strap-on sex sometime, he seemed really hesitant about it, thinking it would make him less of a man. I mean we’ve had some anal sex before, but nothing with a strap-on. Well being the naughty girlfriend that I am, I finally decided to take control of the situation and bought us a really hot strap-on! When he came home from work the other night, I led him into the bedroom and told him we were going to have some nasty anal sex tonight, but it was for the both of us .  He seemed intrigued after all, and so I put on the strap-on! Boy did I fuck him good with it!! I think it was the best anal sex he’d ever had!

Patty

1 888 682 6503

]]> http://howtohavephonesex.us/2012/01/strap-on-phone-sex-with-milf-patty/feed/ 1 http://howtohavephonesex.us/2012/01/naked-beauty-and-phone-sex-2/ http://howtohavephonesex.us/2012/01/naked-beauty-and-phone-sex-2/#comments Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:14:43 +0000 Yingster http://howtohavephonesex.us/?p=3699 Naked beauty is a joy forever

Like the naked YingYing…

And Goya’s “Naked Maja“

And, most beautiful of all…
THE NAKED BOOTLEG PLAY!!!

Watch for it in the postseason….

YingYing  will be watching…
With my naked baby hedgehog…

(to be continued)

1 866 282 6142

“Elephant Back”

I want to block Aldon Smith!

So I have been studying a reliable BLOCKING CHART…
And the Pervert Brothers and I have been practicing exhaustively!
The Brothers are exhausted but I still have some reserve for todays game…
AND, speaking of today’s game….

It has cum to my attention that Seahawk running back Marshawn Lynch

Has scored a touchdown in the last TEN GAMES!
And it is a well known fact that the 49ers

haven’t given up a touchdown ALL YEAR LONG!!

Something’s gotta give….
This very afternoon….
(to be continued)

1 866 282 6142

Ho, Ho, Ho. the weather outside may be frightful, but the fire between my legs is so delightful. 

I hope you have a sexy  BBW phone sex  holiday. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Sable 1 888 885 8006

• I know when you`ve been bad or good — so let’s skip the small talk, sister!

• Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?

• Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

• I know when you`ve been bad or good — so let’s skip the small talk, sister!

• Some of my best toys run on batteries… <wink wink>

• I see you when you’re sleeping – and you don’t wear any underwear, do you?

• Screw the “nice” list — I’ve got you on my “nice AND naughty” list!

• Wanna join the “Mile High” club?

• That’s not a candy cane in my pocket, honey. I’m just glad to see you!

  
  Happy Holidays through out the Season and thank you to all my loyal Customers in the past year, wishing you all health and happiness, in 2012

   

  
  

  
  

  
  

Patty

1 888 682 6503

]]> http://howtohavephonesex.us/2011/12/santas-pick-up-lines-phone-sex-with-milf-patty/feed/ 0 http://howtohavephonesex.us/2011/12/penalties-booth-reviews-and-phone-sex/ http://howtohavephonesex.us/2011/12/penalties-booth-reviews-and-phone-sex/#comments Sun, 18 Dec 2011 15:26:37 +0000 Yingster http://howtohavephonesex.us/?p=3579 The NFL has lots of rules.
Here are a couple of  YingYings  favorite violation’s

ILLEGAL FORMATION:
There are several violations in this picture…

Officials will not tolerate formations that include
large dildos and/or farm animals.
You can lose five yards for this sort of thing.

EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION:
No more than two people can frolic together after a play
None of this kind of thing…

Penalty is usually assessed on the kickoff.

BOOTH REVIEW:
Have you ever wondered why some booth reviews take so long?

Now you know!

The Pervert Brothers think that some of my readers would like to see MY end zone
And here it is…

Have fun watching the games
I know I will…
(to be continued)

1 866 282 6142

Merry Merry

Good Christmas Sex Tips  and Ideas

*It’s amazing what can be crammed into a really small space.

*A little piece of ribbon can really jazz up a tired old box.

*No matter how good the present inside, a little trim never hurt.

*Often the best toys do come with batteries (especially for phone sex).

*You can do a lot with red and green frosting.

*How many eggnogs does it take to make naked snow angels?

*Try a different secret Santa this year and use a blindfold.

*If you rub 2 breasts together, can you toast his chestnuts?

*You are never going to guess what a Christmas tuggie is- a snuggie for his cock! No, I am not kidding, do a Google search! It’s the, “Fuzzy sock that warms your cock”.

Keep it warm

*The best Christmas ornament this year might just be called “I Rub My Ducky”. It’s a rubber ducky vibrator, waterproof of course, dressed up to look like Santa. It comes inside a Christmas bulb for hanging on the tree (now that is a multi-tasking rubber ducky!).

*Is a vibrator that looks like Santa naughty or nice?

*The 12 Days of Christmas would be extra nice if they were different flavored lubricants!

Merry Christmas all you horny girls and boys!

Brooke, Phone Sex Therapist

http://www.americanphonelust.com/brooke/

1-855-211-0011

(EST) Put me on a visit sexy: 5 p.m to 1 a.m./Thurs. and Fri. from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. Also available by chance mornings and afternoons (I love my job!) or appointment. Cyber sex rocks too!

You can return to the same fantasy again and again
Reliving it and changing it to suit your changing needs

When a football game is over, it is over.
And we are forced to move on.

The 1967 Dallas Cowboys would have loved to change the outcome of the legendary Ice Bowl..

But that’s FOOTBALL

A horny naked girl with wide open legs can be recalled a hundred different ways

And that’s FANTASY

Brian Urlacher  tackling LeSean McCoy

FOOTBALL

A friendly blonde served up on pink satin

FANTASY

Drew Brees dropping back to pass

FOOTBALL

A girl with shocking-pink hair and heart-shaped nipples!

FANTASY
Whew!

YingYing  loves football, but I have Fantasy too!
Here I am thinking about defensive lines and penetration

The Pervert Brothers are ordinary men
And they don’t tackle people
Except me…

I always let them take me down
Because they understand penetration….
(to be continued)

1 866 282 6142